I feel like the topic of Feminism has come up a lot recently. I"m not exactly comfortable with the idea of sharing my views on such a politically and emotionally charged subject. I'm not sure if that stems from the fact that it took me years to overcome the idea that I had nothing worth sharing in a semi-public and online setting (which was always what stopped me from creating a blog before now) or if it's simply because I know so many wonderful women who disagree strongly with my views on this topic. Whatever the reason may be for feeling tentative about this subject, I feel that it is valuable--for me, at least--to share my thoughts here.
First off, it's important to realize that any person's views on Feminism (or arguably, well, anything) are created based on that person's exposure to it. The women I have known who have associated themselves with Feminism have all pretty much followed the same trend. They all, almost without fail, believe that women are not seen as equal to men and cannot be seen as equal to men unless women behave like men. It may vary from Feminist to Feminist how they interpret "behaving like men", but that essentially is the core of Feminism.
This trend disturbs me. Deeply. There is a very real belief among Americans today that to be equal is to be synonymous. In my experience, Feminism tends to follow this same pattern. Many Feminists believe that "woman" and "man" must mean exactly the same thing in order for men and women to be true equals.
As far as I can tell, this belief stems from a part of American History that makes people very uncomfortable--Jim Crow Laws. Those laws created a very believable lie, based on a very necessary truth. That Black people and White people could be "separate, but equal" simultaneously. Here's where we get into trouble, because when White Americans used that term, they were justifying providing separate facilities and services for Black and White people on the grounds that they could be of equal quality and value. The only issue was that most White Americans during the mid 20th century wanted to be separate because they believed that Blacks were inferior. "Separate, but equal" was a nice euphemism for "keep away from us, and don't pretend to be anything like us." They were trying to cover up an ugly truth--that no one really believed that Black people and White people actually were equal.
It's been 50 years since Jim Crow laws were considered constitutional in any way, though that doesn't mean that racism just disappeared. Hate crimes still take place today, in an America with a Black president! But Jim Crow left an awful stain on the pride and history of this country, and that stain cannot be removed with politics or legislation. In a modern-day USA, people believe that "separate, but equal" is and always will be a complete lie. At the risk of sounding like a racist, I don't think it is.
Now before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. I think the way America used that phrase with regards to skin color was sinful in it's selfishness and deception. But the phrase in and of itself is not a lie. Here's why: because no race, religion, or gender is inherently the same as any other. They are all, fundamentally and purposefully, different--or in other words, separate. Now White people and Black people have arms and legs and brains that function the same, just like someone from France has the same number of fingers and toes as an American. But you can't tell me that there isn't a difference between being French and being American. They are two separate things. But they are not two unequal things. Being different is not is not the same as being unequal.
Our embarrassing past has had both positive and negative outcomes. On the positive side of the spectrum is the fact that no one can legally be discriminated against because of their skin color or gender. On the negative side of the spectrum, though, is the fact that we are now afraid to celebrate diversity, because doing so would acknowledge that people are different. And being different is bad, because being different is unequal. Sometimes my mind reels when I try to understand why we've become this way. Why didn't we learn to love diversity in all it's forms? Why have we become so afraid to recognize that people are not all the same. That people can and should be separate?
We make the same mistake when it comes to gender. Our society has begun to believe that to recognize that being a woman is different and separate from being a man is a bad thing. We're afraid to point out the fact that men and women were created to be different, just like Asians were created to be different from Africans.
By this point, I've made myself out to be some racist, sexist pig, but I honestly don't believe that I am one. I attended high school at an international school, where some of my closest friends came from India, Nigeria, Spain, Poland, and other countries. Never once did I think of my friends as being inferior to me because of where they came from. In fact, quite the opposite. I never even cared that we were different. We were all teenagers living away from our native homelands. We had so much in common, that the things we didn't have in common weren't significant in our eyes. But that doesn't mean that we pretended those differences didn't exist. That would be like denying the fact that we were human beings. We celebrated our diversity and learned from each other's various cultures, religions, and backgrounds. I loved that lifestyle, because it was liberating. I didn't have to be afraid of what made me unique, and neither did they. When I moved to Utah to attend BYU, I craved that diversity and the ease that came with it.
American culture is uncomfortable with diversity. It's ironic, and almost tragic, because we come from a rich history of heterogeneity and we love to espouse the idea of the "Great American Melting Pot." But in reality, that melting pot is really just an attempt to boil everyone down to the same thing. To ignore differences and celebrate sameness. At least, there is a very disturbing trend towards that concept. And I believe that Feminism falls within that concept. Women are afraid of being different from men, because they are afraid of being dominated, of being inferior in a male-centered world.
I will not deny that women make less money, on average, than men do. In fact, I've witnessed such sexism first hand. Until recently I had a job where all of the full-time women were paid meager hourly wages, and all the men were paid salary. I held two of the exact same positions as a man in my company, and was still living paycheck to paycheck while he was building a house and supporting a stay-at-home wife and two kids. So I would never deny that there is genuine gender inequality in the workplace. I wish that wasn't the case. And I wish that I could rectify such wrongs. I honestly believe that if women choose to work, they should be paid and allowed to advance their career in the exact same manner that a man with equal credentials and work-ethic would be. I believe that women should be entitled to any education, career, or lifestyle that they want and are willing to work for. But I do not, and cannot believe that men and women are the same.
While I was a student at BYU, I took the most amazing anatomy class. I remember standing over a cadaver and realizing for the first time just how purposeful gender is. Men were created specifically, and so where women. We could've been created some other way, but we were made how we are so that both men and women were necessary. I don't believe that this is an accident. I think it's a sign.
So no, I don't consider myself a Feminist. I consider myself a woman. Separate from men, but equal to them.
First off, it's important to realize that any person's views on Feminism (or arguably, well, anything) are created based on that person's exposure to it. The women I have known who have associated themselves with Feminism have all pretty much followed the same trend. They all, almost without fail, believe that women are not seen as equal to men and cannot be seen as equal to men unless women behave like men. It may vary from Feminist to Feminist how they interpret "behaving like men", but that essentially is the core of Feminism.
This trend disturbs me. Deeply. There is a very real belief among Americans today that to be equal is to be synonymous. In my experience, Feminism tends to follow this same pattern. Many Feminists believe that "woman" and "man" must mean exactly the same thing in order for men and women to be true equals.
As far as I can tell, this belief stems from a part of American History that makes people very uncomfortable--Jim Crow Laws. Those laws created a very believable lie, based on a very necessary truth. That Black people and White people could be "separate, but equal" simultaneously. Here's where we get into trouble, because when White Americans used that term, they were justifying providing separate facilities and services for Black and White people on the grounds that they could be of equal quality and value. The only issue was that most White Americans during the mid 20th century wanted to be separate because they believed that Blacks were inferior. "Separate, but equal" was a nice euphemism for "keep away from us, and don't pretend to be anything like us." They were trying to cover up an ugly truth--that no one really believed that Black people and White people actually were equal.
It's been 50 years since Jim Crow laws were considered constitutional in any way, though that doesn't mean that racism just disappeared. Hate crimes still take place today, in an America with a Black president! But Jim Crow left an awful stain on the pride and history of this country, and that stain cannot be removed with politics or legislation. In a modern-day USA, people believe that "separate, but equal" is and always will be a complete lie. At the risk of sounding like a racist, I don't think it is.
Now before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. I think the way America used that phrase with regards to skin color was sinful in it's selfishness and deception. But the phrase in and of itself is not a lie. Here's why: because no race, religion, or gender is inherently the same as any other. They are all, fundamentally and purposefully, different--or in other words, separate. Now White people and Black people have arms and legs and brains that function the same, just like someone from France has the same number of fingers and toes as an American. But you can't tell me that there isn't a difference between being French and being American. They are two separate things. But they are not two unequal things. Being different is not is not the same as being unequal.
Our embarrassing past has had both positive and negative outcomes. On the positive side of the spectrum is the fact that no one can legally be discriminated against because of their skin color or gender. On the negative side of the spectrum, though, is the fact that we are now afraid to celebrate diversity, because doing so would acknowledge that people are different. And being different is bad, because being different is unequal. Sometimes my mind reels when I try to understand why we've become this way. Why didn't we learn to love diversity in all it's forms? Why have we become so afraid to recognize that people are not all the same. That people can and should be separate?
We make the same mistake when it comes to gender. Our society has begun to believe that to recognize that being a woman is different and separate from being a man is a bad thing. We're afraid to point out the fact that men and women were created to be different, just like Asians were created to be different from Africans.
By this point, I've made myself out to be some racist, sexist pig, but I honestly don't believe that I am one. I attended high school at an international school, where some of my closest friends came from India, Nigeria, Spain, Poland, and other countries. Never once did I think of my friends as being inferior to me because of where they came from. In fact, quite the opposite. I never even cared that we were different. We were all teenagers living away from our native homelands. We had so much in common, that the things we didn't have in common weren't significant in our eyes. But that doesn't mean that we pretended those differences didn't exist. That would be like denying the fact that we were human beings. We celebrated our diversity and learned from each other's various cultures, religions, and backgrounds. I loved that lifestyle, because it was liberating. I didn't have to be afraid of what made me unique, and neither did they. When I moved to Utah to attend BYU, I craved that diversity and the ease that came with it.
American culture is uncomfortable with diversity. It's ironic, and almost tragic, because we come from a rich history of heterogeneity and we love to espouse the idea of the "Great American Melting Pot." But in reality, that melting pot is really just an attempt to boil everyone down to the same thing. To ignore differences and celebrate sameness. At least, there is a very disturbing trend towards that concept. And I believe that Feminism falls within that concept. Women are afraid of being different from men, because they are afraid of being dominated, of being inferior in a male-centered world.
I will not deny that women make less money, on average, than men do. In fact, I've witnessed such sexism first hand. Until recently I had a job where all of the full-time women were paid meager hourly wages, and all the men were paid salary. I held two of the exact same positions as a man in my company, and was still living paycheck to paycheck while he was building a house and supporting a stay-at-home wife and two kids. So I would never deny that there is genuine gender inequality in the workplace. I wish that wasn't the case. And I wish that I could rectify such wrongs. I honestly believe that if women choose to work, they should be paid and allowed to advance their career in the exact same manner that a man with equal credentials and work-ethic would be. I believe that women should be entitled to any education, career, or lifestyle that they want and are willing to work for. But I do not, and cannot believe that men and women are the same.
While I was a student at BYU, I took the most amazing anatomy class. I remember standing over a cadaver and realizing for the first time just how purposeful gender is. Men were created specifically, and so where women. We could've been created some other way, but we were made how we are so that both men and women were necessary. I don't believe that this is an accident. I think it's a sign.
So no, I don't consider myself a Feminist. I consider myself a woman. Separate from men, but equal to them.